Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Operation: Awesome (aka Allie Brosh has a birthday)

So the buzz started about 3-4 days ago.. Allie Brosh was having a birthday. I immediately began to feel the wheels churning in my brain...wtf was I gonna do to make her smile on her birthday and maybe stand out from the crowd ever so slightly??

Easy. I'll make her a birthday pie.

You may say "but why a pie, Trav?". Well, because pie > cake.

So off I went to the store to get supplies... ez-bake pie crusts, some filling, some... oshit. I don't even know what kind of pie she likes. Back home I go and venture onto the internet.
Luckily Allie is a down-to-earth and approachable type of girl.. I mean, she's following me on Twitter, so surely I can ask a small personal question of her. I post my question on her Facebook page and wait. Then I wait some more.
Jesus H. Christ on a Cracker, is she ever going to check her damn facebook?

Screw this, I'm going to bed.

I was happy to find that the next morning, she had actually replied after apparently giving the question much thought... so off to the store I go. again.


Only the best ingredients for you, Allie... pie filling is supposed to be chilled, right?

So I have a bunch more pics that I was going to make this long blog about and attempt to be humorous about it...however, I didn't cut off a finger when slicing bananas, nor did I blow up the kitchen when baking the pie crusts... I didn't even make a mess when making the meringue from scratch.
All in all it was pretty damned uneventful and boring. I failed.

So how could I make this exciting? With fire.
Me : *calls mom* "Mom? how much is a bottle of brandy?"
Mom: "why?"
Me : "I'm going to set some pies on fire in the kitchen and take pictures..."
Mom: "..."

Ok, so that idea was shot down quickly by all parties involved. So then I started contemplating how difficult it would be to just track down and set fire to Justin Beiber. I figured that would take a little too much effort, even though the idea itself would be fully embraced by the majority of the worlds population.

So, in the end, I just made the boring birthday pies... but they're Allies birthday pies, so that makes them THE MOST AWESOMEST FUCKING PIES IN THE UNIVERSE EVER!!!!!!!

And just to drive the point home of just how awesome this day really is, I've illustrated it in a personal birthday card -

so, in conclusion, I hope you've had a completely awesome birthday, Allie...and I hope that my efforts have made you smile a little brighter and know you're a little more loved than you were 10 minutes ago <3



  1. I agree 100%, pie is better than cake. You are full of win and Allie is VERY lucky. In fdact I am green with envy.

  2. HOLY. CRAP. Travis, you have truly outdone yourself and... pretty much everyone. Though I won't actually get to taste the pie, the fact that you made two of my favorite pies in my honor AND drew me a picture is pretty f*cking awesome.


    Also? Nice piemanship, dude. Your meringue looks positively delightful!

  3. I WIN!!!!
    I love to win. Winning is awesome in the purest form of awesome.

    Allie- Thank you for the compliments on my meringue... cold pies I've discovered to be a real bitch, nowhere as easy as a baked pie.
    I'm sure the impromptu Allie Brosh Birthday party I'm throwing at work tomorrow will be a grand success with the pies involved.
    (yes, I'm throwing you a party, too...too bad you can't swing by Illinois to join us. Maybe I'll have pictures?)

    Mrs. Macready- I'll find out your birthday and make you pie, too <3

  4. OH MY SWEET LORD! I just found you via allie's tweet! WHY ARE YOU SO COOL?! I am following you forever.

  5. Paige- Forever-ever? Like forever-ever-ever? Pinky swear promise and everything?? <3

  6. Oh, yes, yes!If I ever un-folow you you have full permission to break my pinky! I am just devastated it's taken me so long to find your blog! I fine every blog! I'm scared about this, I might have to make you an apology pie and mail it to you.

  7. Hahaha dude, you are awesome.