Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Is it next week yet?

Ok, yeah, I know... I said I wasn't going to post until I "cleared up some things" that I couldn't communicate to you in a comical manner.
I lied.
I really don't know how I'm to convey this, except in its actual true and unembellished form.

You guys, I'm having the WORST WEEK EVER.
Maybe not like -the- worst week ever... I mean, it's not like that week when that one guy decided he was gonna do that one thing and it ended really badly for him. But as far as bad weeks go, mines been pretty shitty.

It all started last friday, when I got paid... had a decent check, actually, and because I'm a nice fella I gave mom like 80% of it. Told her to keep it for the upcoming cell phone bill and to put it in her bank..figured we'd need it for fuel and such.  (For those of you that don't know/haven't asked... due to unforseen complications in my latest attempt at marital bliss, I was stranded in the wild back-country of Kentucky for a couple of months and finally made my way back home where my mom was gracious enough to let me stay until I was back on my feet financially...unfortunately, its turned into a catch-22 and if I leave, we're both in worse shape than if I stay. This sucks, but what can ya do?)

Apparently she misheard me when I said I was only keeping a small amount for myself and giving her the lions share... because she felt it completely within her rights to A)piss away money unnecessarily on junk food for visiting kids instead of letting them eat whats in the house, 2)taking aforementioned kids out to eat and playing taxi cab driver all over town using up a vast amount of expensive gasoline, Infinity) rewarding the bad behavior of my jobless, shiftless, stoner nephew (who just wrecked his car beyond repair the night before) by giving him money TO GO TO A CONCERT 100 MILES AWAY IN ST LOUIS.
Mom: It's ok, he said he'd pay me back.
Me: He has no job, hasn't had a job longer than a week in at least a he has no car to even look for a job.
Mom: well...

Let's jump up to Sunday.
I go to work, its Memorial Day weekend, big sale... of course, the economy is shit so nobody wants to buy anything. Big Boss calls down from his tower in the sky (really its a back office in a store up north of us... tower in the sky just sounds more ominous) and bitches at the Manager on Duty because our sales suck. MoD bitches at us. I tell MoD to stfu and try harder. He goes and sulks like a pre-schooler.
MoD (whom I really and honestly just dislike... its hard for me to like anyone if I have zero respect for them in all facets of their life.) commences to follow me around like a puppy dog for the next 2 days.

The rage is building.

Monday, I swing by the closest gas station to grab some smokes and then head home. Writers block follows. I post music videos instead. (the gas station comes into play later)

Yesterday I carefully check my bank balance online, crunch numbers with a PEN AND PAPER GUYS!!! I actually did MATH! Thats how seriously I took this... and decided I could buy a soda at work. I get depressed about money again, finish my shift and head home.
I sit down for dinner and mom tosses the new cell phone bill at me. Expecting just a minor raise in it, since we added my line to her plan last month (on her billing cycle date, mind you), I felt my jaw drop.

What. The. Fuck.
I call customer service...tell them we were fully assured that there would be no pro-ration because we were making this change on the cycle date. I'm told tough shit (in a nice way) and to take it up with the store staff. I ask about at least waiving the activation fee for my phone and upgrade fee for mom's new least peel off that amount of nearly 60 dollars. Again, too bad so sad... go ask the store if they'll do it, we can't do that anymore.
I check the receipt to see if I can use the threat of just taking the phones back within the 30 day period. It's been 32 days. fml.
On top of everything else, my phone gets crap service in my house...and it dropped the call while I was telling customer service how thoroughly disgusted I was with the whole situation.

I feel the rage bubbling up in my throat.

Arizona says things will get better. I try to stay optimistic, but am having trouble keeping the faith.

Today, I figure it couldn't get worse, right?
I roll into work, have a fairly easy first hour... socializing a bit, having a cup of coffee, head out for a smoke. Then New Girl comes in... she looked a bit distraught.
Me: Hey, how's it going?
New Girl: umm..who is driving the blue minivan out there?

Me: I am. why?
New Girl: well, it was totally an accident, but thewindcaughtmydoorasiwasgettingoutanditsmackedintothesideofyourcarandthereisabigwhitestreakandpaintsmissingandi'mreallysorrybutitwasn'tonpurposeiswear
Me: *sigh*

I mean, seriously, can -anything- else go wrong this week?

I check the van for damage, figure I'll deal with having it fixed at some point and will just suffer the bitching and growling from mom until I do.

I need some aspirin... I check bank account to make sure I can grab a soda.
I have $0.12 in my account. *whew* at least I'm not overdrawn.
Then I notice I still have a pending charge for the soda I bought 2 days ago...I'm going to get hit with a 35.00 overdraft fee because of a 1.37 diet coke... and the reason I'm going to be overdrawn, was because the gas station cash register DOUBLE CHARGED ME!!!!!!!
My eye starts to twitch a bit.
I call the gas station, give the manager all the details including the number of the receipt and tell him I'd like the charge refunded.
Manager: Well, its nothing I can do right this second, but I'll look into it and get back in touch with you.

At least my cat hasn't died... she's still cuddly and cute and loveable and.. and...

and she just bit the ever-loving holy shit out of me when all I was doing was petting her.

I give up.


  1. I've had that week. Hell, I've had that YEAR.

    I usually break the cycle by lying in bed and refusing to do anything but eat ice cream for two days. But then again, I'm a girl, and you are emphatically not. You might try. . . baseball?

    Also, you used to live in Kentucky? Me too! I lived there for 10 years before moving across the river to Indiana (I can literally see Kentucky from the exercise room in my complex) a couple of months ago.

  2. Shit, man. I promise you things will get better. I have been there. It get's smoothed out in the larger time line of your life. It just sucks right now. I'm sorry.

  3. Laidy - so it's YOU that has had me and bro-in-law freaked a little... I kept seeing New Albany show up in my visitor feed and was wondering if it was long, lost, soontobe ex-wife cyber stalking me. I'll rest a bit easier tonight knowing its you. =)
    Arizona - I know. I'm sure if I remember hard enough, I've probably had it worse... but it's probably been subconsciously blocked by my psyche, or permanently deleted by Crown Royal.
    At least you guys can get a small chuckle at my misfortune and continuous black cloud following me around for this week or so...I've still got a few days left, who knows what will happen next =)

  4. Seriously, Seriously bad week! I've had bad weeks but I can't think of any as bad as that.

    Here's what I do (maybe it will help)... I find someone's blog, where their describing how bad their week is and think "OH GOD! At least I'm not THAT guy!"

    Sorry - and thanks for the great blog!

  5. Whoops! Didn't mean to alarm you! I'm reasonably sure I'm neither your soon-to-be ex nor cyber stalking you.

    (Also, my captcha for this comment was "imoose." Awesome!)

  6. Neil - well, I guess I could swing back by and re-read yours so I could say "well, at least I don't have to live in Eyebrow, Saskatchewan..."
    hahahahhaahhahaha. just kiddin, I love Canada.

    Laidy- imoose? didn't steve jobs just unveil that a couple of days the Canadian market?

    Did you guys see how I tied that together? I should get a job in advertising or marketing or something.

  7. sad....since last April, I've gone through a divorce, had to give up my dogs, my sister was in a motorcycle accident and now can't use her left arm, my uncle was in a train accident and died, my dad had a stroke and was in the hospital for a week, and my apartment burned down....but your week sounded like it beat all that....F your life indeed sir....lmao.... :D

  8. Touche! Nicely Done! I LOVE your blog!