Thursday, June 3, 2010

No Title yet... I'll get back to you

So I had a dream last night. Some of you might think "meh, so what, I have dreams every night..", and thats cool..but this is a special occasion for me, because I rarely remember any dreams I have. I had one last week, but it was so utterly weird that I just chose to forget it... this one is a bit different.

Any amateur or professional dream interpreters out there, feel free to pick this one apart.

I woke up and got out of bed and started walking...where I was walking to, I have no flipping idea. Why I was wearing my sneakers in bed, I also have no idea...but when I was walking, I was wearing shoes, some cutoff camo fatigue shorts I have, and no shirt...just my blanket wrapped around me, dragging it behind me on the ground like a drowsy 4 yr old.
I'm not sure where I went, but I apparently made it there and suddenly realized it was time to go home... so I started walking home. I went down an alley..not a dark, dangerous, big city alley...just a regular semi-suburban alleyway... driveways for parking behind houses, etc.  I walked past a woman climbing down a ladder, apparently one of those ladders on the back of a big RV or motorhome (at least I thought it was).. she paid no attention to the strange half naked guy wearing chuck taylors and a blanket walking down her alley...focusing more on the guy that was getting out of the drivers seat of her RV. Then I noticed the RV was her home...literally. They had build an actual structure around/onto the motorhome... like building onto a trailer or something.  I found that odd, but kept walking.
The trees became slightly more bare as I walked down the alley, eventually just being big sticks coming out of the ground... void of leaves completely, which is also odd, considering it was springtime about 1 minute ago.  I passed another group of people that were just standing in the alley, looking over a chain link fence at something in the backyard. I paid them no mind, since it wasn't my backyard... I didn't even know where my backyard was, I was lost or something, but wasn't worried about it at all. I knew the direction I was heading was back home to my bed again.
As I got farther down the alley... yes, this alley seemed to go on forever, they should have put up snack stands or something for these long lost travelers such as myself... I felt a pinch on the upper part of my arm, on the backside of it. I reached around and pulled back fingertips that were bloody.
My blood.
Except, it was black. Black as the blackest darkest black you can imagine. (wtf, I have black blood in my veins... keep British Petroleum away from me, please.)
I heard a voice yell behind me, a deep thundering voice... not creepy like demonic or humbling like some deity... deep and thundering like when you see someone yell in a movie and its all slow motion.
They yelled "NOOOOOOOO..."

Then I felt it.

I got bit on the ass. 
And it hurt, a lot.

I'm not talking about like bit on the ass cheek, I mean I had just gotten bit right square on my ASS... like, right between my buttcheeks on my ASS!
I did some sort of kung-fu ninja reach behind grab maneuver and grabbed whatever the fuck just bit me... and it was a dog, the same dog that half a second before had jumped up and bit me on the arm.
A huge fucking german shepherd. And when I say huge, I mean like easily 175lbs great dane mastiff type huge. Except it was a shepherd.
I had a hold of him by the top part of his muzzle, which surprised him enough to let go of my ass, thankfully.. apparently he was used to being the top dog in a fight (sorry about the pun).. but I'm tougher than a dog, and I didn't let go. I held on with that hand, grabbed the lower part of his mouth with my left hand and jerked down, effectively dislocating his jaw.

Haha. I win, fido.
Then I seen his 2 brothers charging down the alleyway after me too. The next one jumped at me and grabbed my blanket, trying to rip it off of me, but I snatched him up by his throat and kind of choke-slammed him on his back into the gravel... he yelped and scrambled to get the hell away from me, since he knew he was going to lose.
Dog #3 was being held back by the owner (one of the people staring over the fence at the backyard), but not very securely since the dog was bigger than him... but I was ready to whip his ass too, just in case he got loose.

Just as I secured my blanket again, feeling my blackened blood trickling down my leg and my arm, setting my feet firmly and waiting for the last dog to come after me... I woke up.

Whats most disturbing about this dream to me, though, is the fact that I love dogs, especially german shepherds, and dogs love me.  I don't get why they were after me.

It made me sad.


  1. Ouch - A seriously disturbing dream. Like you, I rarely remember my dreams unless they're kind of freaky. Good story!

  2. Nasty! I got bit on the ass by a dog in New Zealand, not nice...
    I found you!!! (I think). When you commented on SV and I clicked on you, it took me to some bible-thumping website and so I ran away. It's reassuring to discover you're actually quite normal. Well, normal-ish. Ok, not normal at all, but at least not the author of a bible-thumping website!

  3. I'm glad you finally made it here, wanderer!! I'm relatively normal, yes... well, ok, not really. I'm just fairly normal. No, you probably hit the nail on the head, I'm not really normal at all... but I promise I won't make you drink the kool-aid. <3 love your blog, by the way =)

    Neil - It was disturbing, I'm thankful I didn't have any dreams last night... if it happened again, I'm scared I might revert back to my constant battle with insomnia like I had about a year and a half ago. It's no fun looking like walking death.
    You've got a great blog too, I can relate to it, having spent the latter years of my teens in a metropolis of 700 people in the flat flat flat midwest.